2 Month Recap Of My Life So Far.

I don't even know where to begin. My life has changed upside down the last couple of months. The Lord has done interesting things.

*I started a bible

study, BREAKING FREE by BETH MOORE. Well that has been eye opening. I love it. It is hard because it is a lot to take in. BUT it has been good for me to learn about God and actually apply Him in my life. One thing that I have learned is that I am very prideful. I feel that is my biggest sin right now. God has been really showing me how to deal with this sin. I don't want to be prideful. It takes me down a path that isn't healthy. It takes away from what God has planned for me.

*Ryan and I went to Nicaragua for a week which was so much fun!! I usually go to Nica for mission trips but this time it was just for fun!! Nicaragua is my heart! I love that country!! Plus I got to make new friendships because we went with people from Ryan's work!! That was pretty awesome.

*I had the honor of singing at Oak Leaf Church over Easter. 7 services in one week!! It was intense, hard, exhausting, challenging, rewarding, and so many more words. BUT the one thing I would have to say is that God taught me that it wasn't about me singing up on stage. It was about Him using me to share Him. It was about God. Not me!! GOD! It is a neat feeling to know that God is being amplified throughout the who weekend. When you take yourself out of the equation than GOD eliminates the church so that people will see Him.

*I have 2 more weeks at DFCS. Almost at 300 hundred hours. Yep, I have almost done what I thought I would never be able to get through. My heart has been shown things that I have never thought I would see before. One thing I would like to say is that I have found where God wants me to be right now. I do want to work in DFCS (don't know which county yet) but I feel that God has place this job in my life so that he can be glorified.

*Ryan and I will be married for ONE YEAR on May 9th! I just can't believe it. I can't believe that time has gone by this fast! It has been so much fun with my best friend. We have learned so much about each other. It is always a challenge living with another person but it is worth every minute. Ryan has been such a blessing from God. :) p.s. Ryan cut his hair...

*Well I have to talk about our Mayester (aka. Maye). She is going to be 7 months in one week. She has been such a neat little addition to our family. She is such a joy. Can be a little frustrating at time but so smart. She has learned so much. We just taught her to roll over yesterday!! :)We are 2 very proud people of our pup! God has taught us a lot through this dog. Never thought I would learn so much through something that doesn't talk...haha!

*My semester is almost over and I will be graduating College in July. I just can't believe it. I can remember my years in Elementary, Middle, and High School. Wow, time goes by toooooo fast!! I never thought that the light at the end of the tunnel would be here!! I can finally say that all of my hard work is paying off!!

**This little blurb will probably be the most important one I write. Please pray for a specific person that, I unfortunately can not give a name or a situation, but what I can say is that this person needs GOD. This person knows God and knows who he is I feel has Him in his/her heart but has choose to go down the wide path of destruction for the time being. I pray that he/she gets out of it. They need your prays!! This verse comes to mind when I think about this person, Matthew 7:13. I pray that they will realize that God the way, the truth, and the life! Thanks for your prayers!

Working with People.

Have you ever worked with someone that clashed with you?

Well I am realizing that I am always going to work with people that I don't work well with. I need to remind myself that it is ok because God made us very different. Why would you want the same personalities around anyways, that would be boring. Even though frustration can kick in sometimes, God wants us to love everyone and that is what my mission should be in the work force. I need to keep positive. I don't need to consistently see all the flaws in that person. God knows what He is doing when he places you with certain types of people. I don't need to judge, I just need to see that good in everyone. That is what God would do, so that is what I should do.

Speaking Up.

Haven't written in a while because my body decided I need to calm down for a bit. I was sick all last week but I am back. Soak up anything and everything.....

I started my week off at DFCS today. Pretty intense. One thing that stuck out the most for me would have to be my house visit for the day. Went to a house a women that has to small children. Well my heart fell for this little 2 year-old boy that was so cute. He kept coming up to me and holding my hand, talking to me, and than he wanted to sit on my lap. Umm, Ok, what I haven't told you is that he smelled. His diaper was so full and he needed a bath. On the flip side of that, I let him sit on my lap and before I knew it the diaper leaked onto my pants. Now if you think about it I should have ben completely grossed out by this situation but to be honest the diaper was not what got to me it was the fact that I never said anything to the mom about his dirty diaper. Why didn't I say anything? I should have made her aware of the diaper. I mean if I had a child I would have wanted to know if my child's diaper needed to be changed. I should have said something light-hearted so she would know I was not judging her. I know that this is such a small, meaningless story but looking at the big picture I should have spoke up. I needed to say something because that mom needed to be told her son needed a diaper change. She honestly could have not known that it was dirty, but on the other hand it smelled bad enough for it to have been on him for a while. I need to realize that I am going to be in even more uncomfortable situations. I need to man up to my responsibilities and say something.

Back Story.

So DFCS this week was pretty interesting....

One thing that really got me this week was a LIPT,Local Interagency Planning Team, meeting that I was able to go to. The purpose is to bring people that can provide different resources from all over Bartow County to help the individuals that need it. My supervisor and I went to it because one of her clients from DFCS was referred there and we wanted to be there for support and help he explain her situation to the group. The group than goes through different ideas for the client so and makes sure she is getting the best services possible to make her situation better. The idea of LIPT is a very good concept!! My supervisor and I got their before our client so we went in and listened to other clients and what there needs were and to see if we could help. This one client was a 14-year-old girl. She was asked, "What can we help you with today?" "What can we do to make your life better?" Well all she had to say was "I don't want to go to school." She went on and on about how she just wanted to hang out with her friends, and didn't want to go to school. She just wanted to sleep. One lady asked her "Do you not see that we all care about you and want the best for you?" All the girl did was laugh and say "WHY?..." The conversation went on for a good 30 mins. It went NO WHERE. She wasn't grateful, she wasn't receptive of our services, she just wanted to sleep, and she was willing to throw away her life for something that wouldn't matter years from now. I was dumbfounded when I sat there. There wasn't anything we could say or do to help that girl.

Needless to say, It upset me. It upset me because we actually cared about her and she took us as a joke. It made me want to stand on the table and scream at her for being an idiot. BUT what good would that do for me? So yeah I just sat there and watched her walk out of the room knowing that she wasn't going to take life seriously. She had so much going for her, and she didn't care!!!! I mean one lady was throwing out her strengths and she was saying "When she is good and listening she is GREAT." It was like she didn't care that someone cared about her and saw that she could be a good girl. I just wonder her back story is. I wonder what has happened to her to feel this way. It makes me look at my own back story and what I have gone through.

So what is your back story? I pray that your back life was something that you have learned from and that your life is better because of it. At the end of the day that girl is going to make her own decisions. I just HOPE AND PRAY that her decisions don't cost her.

A Little Push.

So I have this case that is really bothering me. Really can't disclose anything really so I am going to go around the case and give you a broad idea, and of what most people do in life.

Bottom line I am upset with the fact that people don't take responsibility for themselves and grow up. When a person has chosen to live the lifestyle they have then they need to face the consequences they deserve. I mean it isn't all fun and dandy to wake up and smell the roses but sometimes my friends, YOU JUST NEED TO!! I definitely believe in second chances, because God wants people to have a better life. I am realizing that DFCS workers try really hard at getting the family in a better situation. Why does the family so resistant? Why don't they just sit back and say, "Wow this is my second chance at life and I should doing something important with it?"I mean DFCS helps point people in the right direction so they can, hopefully, get their feet off the ground. I mean we don't spoon feed you, but we do give you a little push!!

I am realizing that I am going to be facing a lot of people that really need a little push. I need a little push in my own life sometimes, but my question to those people is why not take it? It is a free gift!! Just like God gave us a free gift of salvation!! So needless to say I am going to keep pushing people and keep helping them and hope and pray they see my heart as good!!

Learning.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I want to start out by saying that my experience at DFCS is going to be life changing. Why? For many reasons:

1. I need to quit judging. So this is what God shows me:
Matthew 7:2-5: "2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

2. I need to love people. So this is what God shows me: Luke 6:27-35: " 27 But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

John 13: 34-35: "34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

I have learned a lot more but I feel that these 2 things have really hit me hard the last couple of weeks! By being at DFCS I can love on people and show them a merciful and loving God. That is my desire.

Heart Change.

So....

Holidays have past, school has started, and the biggest internship of my life has begun. I am interning at DFCS (Department of Family and Children Services). This week was my first week. I already got 24 hours under my belt and 276 hours left to go. What I have learned thus far:

- That God has a strange way of making his presence known.

- That even though I feel that a family is dysfunctional it may be something very normal for that family.

- That if I don't watch myself I can become a cold person to people and that is not why I am going into this field of work.

- That children are so important to me and it is so important that they get the best chance at life.

- That my parents have done one heck of a job and I am so blessed to have them.

- That GOD has a reason for everything he does and even though I do not get that reason it does not matter.

I have been absolutely blessed with a supervisor that really wants me to learn and learn it well. She has exposed me to things that I have never seen before. I know that this semester my eyes are going to be opened to a whole other world. I know that I was placed in DFCS for a reason and that is because of God. God will be glorified through this internship. The things I have seen this week has really shocked me and I can only imagine what God has in stored for me.

I am praying for guidance in all the situations I will be placed in, and a heart that will stand up for the Lord God Almighty! This is a time for God to shine!!

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." - Phil.4:8